Monday, July 11, 2016

Black Lives Matter, Blue Lives Matter

With the recent news of the shootings in Louisiana, Minnesota and Texas, I think about gun violence. I need to disclose that I am a middle aged white female. Yet gun violence and the fear of it have been part of my life.

At 15, I visited Prague. I went with a student group. We spent most of our summer in Germany, yet crossed to the East twice, once in Berlin, and then a few days in Prague. A beautiful city with so much history. Yet with fresh evidence of the suppression of the Prague Spring. Some of the leaders were still loose. And, the hard line authorities wanted to capture and punish them all.

As we were leaving Czechoslovakia, I was pulled off the bus, then queued up again, to have the same happen two more times. Then the officer began to question me. In Czech. I knew no Slavic languages except the bits of Polish I heard when we visited my grandparents. I asked him to repeat his questions in one of the languages that I knew. Yet this questioning was done with three young men with guns pointed at me. I dared not flinch, for fear that one of the soldiers might shoot. Meanwhile, I prayed that if they arrested me, for what I didn't know, they wouldn't send me to Soviet Union. I had heard bits of my grandmother's experience there working in a Siberian labor camp for the crime of being Polish. I knew I was too soft. Finally, I was allowed to board the bus, and leave the country. Then, the driver, who had understood the exchange told me that I looked like one of the student leaders. I never heard what happened to my twin. I hope she is well.

While in residency, I came to know my neighbor, who was a police officer. At first he was on medical leave. He had killed a man. His partner had also been killed in the shootout and my friend and neighbor injured.

My next experiences came when I worked in an inner city hospital. Gangs were active. There, I cared for hundreds of victims of all ages, from infancy up. But, usually, they respected those who cared for them. A colleague had his shoes stolen at gunpoint, but wasn't injured, because, "Doc, we might need you someday." A few times we were threatened that if a certain patient died, we would, too. And, once, we had a SWAT team in the hospital. We had to walk past them and their bullet proof shields to care for our patients, and worried that we might be caught in the crossfire.

Another threat was after I had been speaking out about gun violence after I cared for a young boy who had been shot on the freeway. He was one of about 20 shooting victims my hospital received on a typical Friday or Saturday in the mid-90s due to gang activity. This child was deemed different. He was middle class, from the suburbs, just driving home from a Dodger game with his cousins. So the press was interested. I spoke out, testified on the costs of gun violence to committees of city and state government. Thus, my photo was in the paper. And, a copy of my photo was sent to me with a target drawn over my face. Scary, but I knew that my activities were having an effect.

During this time, I also learned from colleagues the issues of "driving while Black," "running while Black," etc. It was something that had not been part of my experience until then. Instead, I had been told, even by Black and Hispanic colleagues, not to drive through certain neighborhoods.

Later, I had an alarm that triggered a "home invasion" alarm. I was home alone, by then middle aged, working on my computer, when the police came, with guns drawn, wanted proof that I was who I was. They looked through my home, following me, but finally left after I got my ID, showing this house as my address.

I realize that people are violent. But, guns increase the lethality of that impulse to violence. I don't have a solution, given the millions of guns in the hands of the American populace. I have worked in an area where gang violence was rampant. I have seen far too many lives destroyed by violence. I have worked to save and rebuild some of those lives.

I can understand that police may be afraid, but, I have seen reasonable control by well trained officers when we had the terrorist shooting in San Bernardino, not adding to the toll at the Inland Regional Center. I can understand that the people are afraid, especially Black men, but am impressed by the overall peaceful nature of the recent protests. I hope and pray that we can come together to end the violence. So that I don't have to try to patch up any more shattered victims.

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