Black Lives Matter

I am a fair skinned white woman. I have friends who are police officers. One friend even told me about killing someone in the line of duty. His partner was killed, and my friend was injured in a shootout with someone they had gone to arrest. My friend was off work for about a year due to his injuries. I don't recall my friend mentioning the race of the person whom he killed.

Yet, I have experienced fear of the police, too. The most recent was when a faulty alarm system called the police to my home for a suspected home invasion. The police had guns drawn when I answered the door. They walked through my house and asked to see my ID. I had to go to get it, and they followed me, guns drawn the whole time. Finally they left. I know that my age and skin color likely helped to save my life that day. But, I was scared by having a gun pointed at me by a police officer in my own house.

The worst such experience was in another country when I was not allowed to board a tour bus to cross from the border to leave the country. I was told to stand in front of a wall. Three young soldiers trained their weapons on me, while an officer asked questions in a language I did not understand. All I could think of was to try to calm myself. I told them I would answer questions in any of the 3 languages I knew at the time. I kept repeating this in each of the languages. I prayed they did not shoot me. I prayed that if they didn't let me go I would end up in a Czech prison rather than a Soviet gulag. I knew stories about gulags from family and friends who had escaped with the Anders (Polish) Army during WWII. Fortunately, the tour bus driver refused to leave without me, so they finally let me go. I had just turned 15.

I know the fear, but, fortunately, it is not a daily event for me. That is one of the benefits of white privilege. Sadly, many Americans experience this fear frequently. Driving while Black, Jogging while Black, Sleeping while Black, Playing while Black, Birdwatching while Black could all end in death. It's not possible to anticipate when such an event. But, even if such an event never happens to an individual or doesn't result in death, worry about the risk can lead to stress and the attendant health problems. And, these health problems may shorten lives. Black Americans have life expectancies that are 3 years shorter for women and 5 years shorter for men than white Americans (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr68/nvsr68_07-508.pdf). Black Americans also are suffering higher death rates from coronavirus than white Americans, in part due to the increased toll of stress related illnesses.

I understand the anger of those for whom it is a daily event. These killings need to stop. They never should have been a fact of life for so many. All people should be treated equally. We must, as a society, work to change attitudes. Martin Luther King dreamed of a place when a person is judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. I do, too.